No censorship.

Damn.

Emilie was all nice and cuddly tonight. Her and Steve are all friendly again, after a bit of the usual cycle of goodness badness.

So was Lorna. Turns out her and Mike have gone public. About time too.

Dammit I'm still single.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

I'm pissed out of my skull at the moment, having gone to H2O after the Pulsar bar crawl with Anny and Sara. A good night out, to be honest, lots of good music, even if it was wrapped in amongst the fucking Venga Boys.

Had to escort Anny and Sara to a taxi rank so they could get home. Sara's gone blonde again, looking more stunning than usual, and getting perved on by every drunken fuckwit between H2O and the taxi rank.

My room's a tip. Cut my hair earlier, to a decent length, but overtrimmed. To compensate for the overtrimming, had to do a number 4 all over, and now I'm back in the Widow's Peak. Hair in the sink, on the carpet. Bits of dissertation on my bed. Need to sleep.

Really wish I could have pulled instead

After god nkownd s kdlanois zc... need to sleeps/.

Got the bastard fucking wankery fucking fuck fuck wankery bastard buggery fuck dissertation handed in, but I realised on the bus (as I was stuffing all the pages into the folder (which even now has the Stationary Box stickers still on it) that I'd forgotten to print out the introduction (v. important) and the bibliography (v. v. v. important).

Felt sick. Not sure if that was lack of food or just despair.

Handed it in at 3 minutes past 4. Jennifer Ward's a damn nice woman - she's letting me bring the introduction and bibliography in on Monday, so I won't lose any more marks.

What I did notice was that there's a half-finished paragraph in an already meaningless and 0 marks conclusion.

I stand by my claim that the dissertation sucks, and I think I'll be lucky to get a pass in Ling 201.

Now I need to get my Creative Writing out of the way, and then settle down and get damn fine marks in my two exams.

And I never need to write another essay again...

:-)

Okay, the dissertation officially sucks. I'm dropping one of the two novels I'm analysing, because I don't have time to type up my results (the fucking alarm!) and I keep nearly falling asleep.

I have no chance of getting a decent grade, and now just need something in the vague shape of a dissertation that I can get a bad mark in.

God, I can't wait until tomorrow. I can stay in bed all day, and not stress about anything...

And it was in our flat again. Deodorant, probably, in Chris's room.

THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM'S GONE OFF!!!

Pro Plus. Good.

Printer ink. Bad.

8.15am.

Less than 8 hours until the deadline.

Only 6 hours maximum working time left, before I need to print out and whatnot.

Feeling so tired I can't keep my head up.

Still have two analyses, the conclusion, an abstract, and a bit of introduction to do.

And a bibliography (pathetically short), and contents page.

And then I need to go out and buy some folders. I can do that while it prints out.

Then I can hand this fucking thing in and never think about it again.

After today, I never have to sit in front of this fucking computer and write another fucking essay ever, in my entire fucking life. (I hope.)

Sara's changed her MSN username to Why Am I Always Left With The Archangel? because the last time she pulled an all-nighter, it was when I was doing one as well.

Got to go. I'm using the internet as an excuse not to work.

Only have about 3" of Coca Cola left in the bottle. The shop opens in about forty-five minutes. I'll go out then, buy a couple more bottles, and that should leave me set for the rest of the session.

If I can get this handed in by 2pm, I can come home for 2.30pm, cut my hair (yes, I do my own), have a shower, shave and so on, by about 3.30pm, maybe have a little sleep until I have to head off to the Writers Guild at 5pm. From there at 6.30pm, to join the fantastically mad bastards of Pulsar.

Tonight, no matter how tired I am, I'm going to go out and get pissed. Or maybe come home early and slump into a coma. One or the other.

The BNP have just won 7 seats in Burnley to become the second biggest party on the council.

Fuck.

Kate found this one:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

I'm talking to myself more than usual. Not good, not good at all.

It must be the dissertation. I've just spent two hours discussing the pros and cons of modifying the Bretonnian background to make it darker and more doom-laden.

A green unpleasant land, rather than a green and pleasant land.

Hmm, how about that?

Totally without warning, they've painted our corridor a nice shade of blue.

About time. I've been in Chancellor's Wharf nearly two years, and they've been promising to paint since the summer before then. That time some Greek had complained that the painting was disturbing his work over the summer holidays, so they postponed until the first year I was here. Then it turned out the fumes from the paint was making people ill, so they had to stop again.

Then, without telling anyone, without causing a fuss, they've quickly and quietly sent a guy around with a paintbrush and a tin of blue.

Bored bored bored bored bored bored.

Dissertation deadline in 30 hours, during which time I expect not to sleep.

Events of note during my life today:

12:30pm, head to campus for a Creative Writing seminar.

2.30pm, come home from said seminar, having paid my rent, sent off two cheques through the post, and (hopefully) spent half an hour in the presence of human beings in Bowland Bar.

5.30pm, head out to LURPS.

7pm, come back from LURPS, having joined a game, probably Tom's Space: 1889.

Technically, I could forego the one and a half hours of travelling and general fun that the LURPS meeting would involve, because I'm not sticking around for the actual roleplaying, but I'll need a break if I'm going to go all night until the dissertation's finished.


Oh, and Tom, as I nearly said at LURPS on Tuesday, I've brought back some Eldar models if you're interested:

23 Guardians, including lots with chainswords on their backs - I have spare arms as well, somewhere, if you fancy rebuilding these guys into assault troops. (5 painted as Ulthwe)

A Warlock with a singing spear - I think I told you I had a Farseer, but this was the model I meant, I just used it as a Farseer and then forgot it wasn't a proper one. (Painted as Ulthwe)

Warp Spider Exarch, painted as Ulthwe.

Four of the old Swooping Hawk models - one was mounted on a flying base, but that seems to have wandered off.

Baharroth, Cry of the Wind - the Swooping Hawk Phoenix Lord - damn cool model, but needs a flying base.

Wraithlord - without a shoulder-mounted weapon, it's an assault variant of the old Eldar Dreadnought. (Painted as Ulthwe)

D-cannon - not the most imposing Eldar artillery piece ever.

3 old Dark Reapers, one painted as Ulthwe.

Old Dark Reaper Exarch, with a web of skulls, painted as Ulthwe.

Finally, someone's stated the obvious theory about Sars that everyone seems to have been hiding from...

Less than 40% of Sars patients have the corona virus 'identified' as the source of the disease.

Some people have the corona virus but have not developed Sars.

Therefore, scientists are now confused as to where the epidemic came from.

"An American researcher has suggested a different possible origin for Sars: military biological weapons programmes.

Richard Fisher, a senior fellow at the Jamestown Foundation, a Washington-based think tank, said the theory shouldn't be ruled out."


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2990705.stm

Just done the Colour Test again (www.colorquiz.com):

Your Existing Situation:
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.

Your Stress Sources:
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest. As a result, he pursues his objectives with a fierce intensity that will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting his nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels he can only be at peace when he has finally reached his goal.

Your Restrained Characteristics:
Feels that he cannot do much about his existing problems and difficulties and that he must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.
Feels that things stand in his way, that circumstances are forcing him to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.

Your Desired Objective:
Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which he can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.

Your Actual Problem:
Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling him to free himself of the worry that he may be prevented from achieving all the things he wants.


Have I mentioned before that I love this test?

It's got me spot on this time.

This is just hysterical, in a scary kind of way.

Unfortunately, natural selection doesn't apply to these people, because they keep reproducing:

(From BBC News Online, July 2001)

Teenage myths about contraception
Some teenagers think Coca Cola and wrist watches are contraceptives.
A survey for Doctor magazine highlighted a worrying lack of understanding about contraception among UK teenagers.

The survey found many teenagers believed a bizarre range of myths and old wives' tales.

The lack of understanding could be one reason why teenage pregnancy rates are soaring in the UK.

One teenager was quoted as saying: "Putting a watch around your penis before sex means the radioactivity of the dial kills off sperm."

Teenage myths 1:
You can't get pregnant on a boat
You can't get pregnant if you drink a lot of milk
You get pregnant if you take folic acid
Keeping your eyes closed stops you getting pregnant
A boy is only fertile if his testicles feel cold
There's no risk if you're standing on a telephone directory

Others believed a Coca-Cola douche, standing on a telephone directory, or drinking a lot of milk would stop them getting pregnant.

Still more thought they could not get pregnant if they stayed upside down for two hours, coughed immediately after sex, or had sex in the bath, on a boat, or with their clothes on.

About 8,000 teenagers under 16 get pregnant every year in the UK, and rates of sexually transmitted infection in British teenagers are running at about 10%.

The myths were among those told to 2,200 GPs surveyed by the magazine.


Embarrassed

It found 85% of GPs thought young people were not using effective contraception because they were too embarrassed to ask for advice.

But 70% believed ignorance was the problem, and 70% believed teenagers were worried their confidentiality would not be respected.

Teenage myths II
If you drink a lot of alcohol you won't get a girl pregnant
You can't get pregnant unless you have sex every night
Coke douches work and you can use crisp bags as condoms
You can't get pregnant if you don't have an orgasm
You can't get pregnant if you have sex in the bath


Phil Johnson, editor of Doctor, said GPs have a major part to play in helping teenagers understand sex and pregnancy.

He said: "Many GPs don't advertise the fact they offer a confidential service.

"There is no notice up about it; they don't train staff in it. They don't have a special leaflet for teenagers about it.

"Teenagers are not told that under 16s can get contraception."

Janine Jolly, senior development officer with the National Children's Bureau, told BBC News Online she was not surprised teenagers easily got confused.

"We live in a very sexualised society where teenagers are bombarded with images of sex," she said.

"But these are not necessarily educational and teenagers pick up a lot of mis-messages from gaining their information in this way".


'Too little, too late'

Ms Jolly said that on the bright side, the government's teenage pregnancy unit was aiming to tackle these "urban myths".

She said there were signs it was achieving some success by providing early-age, accurate education on sex and relationships in schools.

But Jan Barlow, chief executive of the charity Brook which deals with teenage sexual health issues, said adults were continuing to fail young people.

"Far too often young people tell Brook that the information they get about sex is too little, too late and it's too biological," she said.

"They need plain-speaking and impartial information so that they can make informed choices.

"It's time we nailed sex myths on the head with accurate information."

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

From welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com:

29 April - ABC News Australia reports that Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf (M.S.S.) has been at his aunt's house in Baghdad for the past four days, and has asked US troops to arrest him so he can be "protected".

Adel Murad, of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan, says US troops have refused because he is not on their "most wanted" deck of playing cards...

al-Arabiya satellite channel has offered M.S.S. a new job as a commentator and analyst. "We want to benefit from the experience of Mr Sahaf and his analysis of the current situation and the future of Iraq," said the station, without giving details of the job package... wow, we have nothing funny to add to that, speaks for itself.

The gun amnesty that's running before the new firearms laws come in has netted a few interesting items:

A used LAW rocket launcher.
A shoulder mounted RPG launcher.
A fully operational AK47 assault rifle, probably a souvenir from Desert Storm.
A home-made cannon(!) painted in camouflage colours and able to fire a two and a half inch cannon ball.

I'd love to hear the story behind the last one...

Someone's apparently died of anthrax in Brazil, after opening a suitcase on an Egyptian boat:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2985453.stm

More evidence that Bush is a fucking idiot?

From Reuters:

Even Bush is fan of Iraqi information minister

WASHINGTON, April 24 (Reuters) - Now that the campaign to topple Saddam Hussein appears to be over, even U.S. President George W. Bush admits he is a fan of the public relations style of former Iraqi information minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf.

"He's my man, he was great," Bush enthused in an interview with NBC's Tom Brokaw on Thursday. "Somebody accused us of hiring him and putting him there. He was a classic."


(Thanks to wilwheaton.net for that one.)

Does Bush not realise that this guy was the one exhorting Iraqis to kill American soldiers? Does he not realise that American soldiers have died because of what Comical Ali has said?

We might have laughed at the insanity of what al-Sahaf said, but it's the soldiers in the desert who were getting the direct results, and it was Bush who put those soldiers there in the first place.

How can Bush laugh about it, knowing that he's ultimately responsible for every soldier that al-Sahaf's lies caused?

Maybe, as Patton Oswalt (some comedian I downloaded after he was incorrectly labelled as Bill Hicks) said, Bush isn't stupid after all, he's just evil.

Thought for the Day:
Porn stars with small penises... Do they exist to make wankers feel good about themselves?

Happy Birthday Saddam.

Interesting look into the mind of a military sniper:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2969255.stm

Hmm, just found this in the Inquisitor subplots generator:

'The Demiurg always bear a grudge.'

Yeah, right, whatever you say, Games Workshop. They're not the Squats are they? You're just holding them back until the guys in charge can be persuaded to reintroduce them.

There's also references to Dr Who and Star Trek Voyager.

On a break from the essay, I was ploughing through the Dork Tower archives. Find September 11th, 2002, the one year anniversary.

They linked to this, a poem called 110 Stories:

http://nielsenhayden.com/110.html

Toronto's complaining about the health warnings that the WHO have given out about SARS.

They're complaining, because they say the situation's been blown out of all proportion.

20 people are dead from a virus with no cure, the death rate (that's rate, not just the toll) is increasing, and the situation in Toronto is apparently similar to that in Hong Kong a similar length of time after its first case. 130 have died so far in Hong Kong.

It's like the mayor of the small town with a crocodile saying, "We can't shut the lake because it'll damage tourism. There is no crocodile."

An interesting story covering several aspects of the war in Iraq:

A potential chemical weapons lab, a possible link between Saddam and Bin Laden, and recriminations from today's explosion at an arms dump in Baghdad.


US testing Iraq chemical find
The United States is testing materials found in Iraq that may have been used in the manufacture of chemical weapons, the Pentagon has said.

Officials say it will be several days before they have results.

They would not say when or where the materials were found, but a US television station reported that 14 unmarked drums had been found near the Bayji, about 210 kilometres (130 miles) northwest of Baghdad, on Friday.

The Pentagon announcement came as hospital workers in Baghdad said at least 12 people had been killed by explosions at an ammunition dump on the edge of the Iraqi capital.

America's ABC News reported that US chemical weapons specialists had tested a suspected mobile weapons laboratory.

Initial tests showed the presence of a nerve agent and a blistering agent, but the Pentagon remained cautious about the find.

The materials are being sent to the US for more comprehensive testing. The tests performed in Iraq can give false positives because similar chemicals are used in weapons and pesticides.

At least two previous suspected chemical weapons discoveries have turned out to be harmless.

But the barrels found at Bayji were near missiles and gas masks, making the US more suspicious. US forces escorted an ABC news crew to the site.


In a separate discovery, the UK newspaper the Sunday Telegraph said it had found documents linking Saddam Hussein with Osama Bin Laden.
The newspaper said an envoy from Bin Laden's al-Qaeda network travelled to Baghdad at the Iraqi leader's invitation in 1998 "to establish a relationship based on their mutual hatred of America and Saudi Arabia".

The Sunday Times, meanwhile, said that France had regularly told Iraq about its dealings with the US until at least the end of 2001.

Depot explosion

A US officer said "hostile forces" fired flares into the Baghdad arms depot, igniting many fires. The site contained missiles, mortars, grenades and hundreds of thousands of bullets.

The explosions, in the Zafaranyah neighbourhood of southern Baghdad, demolished at least four nearby houses.

More victims are said to be buried under rubble. Some unconfirmed reports speak of 40 people killed.

Many Iraqis are accusing American troops of storing weapons in a residential area.

Hundreds of demonstrators took to the streets of Baghdad, chanting anti-US, pro-Islamic slogans.

But a statement from the US Central Command said "the location of the ammunition cache near a civilian population is another example of the former regime's disregard for the safety of Iraqi citizens".

The BBC's Allan Little in Baghdad says the city is bristling with weapons, which can be easily bought and sold at markets.

US troops are trying to clamp down on this trade by storing weapons at dozens of depots around Baghdad.

In other developments:

- United States Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld leaves Washington for a tour of the Middle East and South Asia

- The man due to lead an interim administration in Iraq, Jay Garner, says all Iraqis will see their basic services restored in three weeks

- American diplomatic sources at the United Nations confirm that Washington is working on proposals for a new UN resolution to address the changed situation in Iraq

- The US Defence Department starts sending Iraqi exiles to Baghdad to join a temporary US-led administration, the New York Times reports

- The UN refugee agency says it is planning to help up to half a million Iraqi refugees return home from exile.

JK Rowling is richer than the Queen.

£280 million...

Jesus Christ...