Things have just taken a major turn for the worse. (R.E. 18th January MSN conversation)

Basically, she treated me like shit in a series of text messages.

[hasty editing and so on as the situation changes, even as I write]

Er... well... news just in.

The friend in question just phoned me. Her boyfriend has just had a nasty accident and is in hospital. I'm going to try and talk to her later tonight. She sounded really upset and promised to call me later.

Whether this had anything to do with the way she treated me earlier is unclear. I suspect it might do, since it was only an hour and a bit ago that we had the argument.

I was going to go into a rant about the way she treated me, but that seems pretty pointless now I don't quite know what's going on.

It'll be interesting to come back to that colour test some time in the future, when everything's calmed down, and see if my results are different.

(Trust me, you're only getting half of my life on this blog - I'm so stressed about the other half that I never feel I have the time to write it down, and instead spend it pacing up and down the length of my room.)

Just taken the colour test (http://www.colorquiz.com), as recommended by Laura:

My Existing Situation:
The existing situation contains critical or dangerous elements for which it is imperative that some solution be found. This may lead to sudden, even reckless, decisions. Self-willed and rejects any advice from others.

Well, I don't agree with the bit about being self-willed and rejecting advice. Does anyone think different on that one? Does it matter, because according to this, I probably won't listen to you. :-p


Your Stress Sources:
Has lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. Feels overtaxed and getting nowhere, but continues to stand his ground and still pursues his objectives with a fierce intensity. This subjects him to intolerable pressure from which he wants to escape, but he cannot bring himself to make the necessary decision. As a result he remains firmly involved in the problem and can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it--he cannot leave it alone and feels he will only be at peace when he has reached his objective.

True. This is how I'm tackling (or not tackling) virtually every problem I'm going through at the moment.


Your Restrained Characteristics:
Feels that he cannot do much about his existing problems and difficulties and that he must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
Circumstances are restrictive and hampering, forcing him to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being.

Fully agree with all of that, actually. Apart from Thursday roleplaying, everything's a cause of stress (and I feel guilty about taking time out on Thursdays).


Your Desired Objective:
Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a situation of idealised harmony. Has an imperative need for tenderness and affection. Susceptible to anything aesthetic.

Wow... It's like this test was written for me. I must add though, this does not count as, and should in no way be taken as, a rejection of the concept of non-relationship sex.


Actual Problem:
Has a fear that he might be prevented from achieving the things he wants. This leads him to employ great personal charm in his dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for him to reach his objectives.

Hmm, I've been told I am charming, and I generally am polite about stuff. Does this count? The first sentence is true though.


Actual Problem #2:
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond his capabilities, or reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. He attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as he desires them to be.

Again, true. I question the 'unadmitted' part though. Don't I spend most of my time feeling worthless and inadequate? A substitute world, eh? Yes, that sounds about right. I do have a habit of reliving stressful moments in more satisfying ways - hell, I didn't sleep last night because of the constant replaying of an argument through my head, in which I actually said what I wish I'd said at the time.



Checking a few other tests, I appear to have an IQ of 140, which means I'm Highly Gifted and appear to be a genius to others. (I went back and cheated a little and managed to get this up to 151.)

The Sparks personality test:
MASTERMIND
(Submissive Introvert Abstract Thinker )

Richard Cowen
Like just 8% of the population you are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this "scheming." Don't learn German.

Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader--you've definitely got the "vision" thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy.

Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Montgomery Burns.


TheSpark's sex test:
Congrats! In your life, you'll have sex with 7 people!

Including the 2 you've already had sex with,
that makes 5 new lovers! You are 30% sexy.

A tad depressing, I feel.


71% on the Love Test. But none of these bloody things ask the question: 'Will you shag anything that moves until love comes along?'

Yes, the previous post was written whilst pissed.

Update - I've been to Mish's 21st birthday party where the friend in question was.

I know I felt awkward talking to her initially (hell, I apologised), but I think we're fine. Not sure an apology was appropriate (although I did get too naggy at her, albeit for good reasons), and didn't get one from her for the devastating way she spoke to me (that I remember - I'm currently pissed out of my skull, so maybe I've forgotten). From what I remember, it was an "okay" kind of acceptance of the apology. To be fair, she isn't too wordy around difficult situations, despite her usual self-confidence. (Nice outfit though. Very nice indeed.)

Currently not too bothered if she was entirely faithful to me or not. I trust her. I think she was faithful (not that it really matters - I would have been fine with it, I think, provided she'd told me if she had strayed). The only time she got near drifting, she felt incredibly guilty about it and confessed it to me. Her attempted hard-nose attitude (sometimes successful, sometimes her conscience does get the better of her) seems to be a recent development, since we broke up. Her love life's been a lot more complicated since I was part of it.

Saw another friend's breasts. Not bad, for an average night out. In fact, the friend in question, if you're reading this - fantastic tits. You ought to be proud. ;-) Sorry about pinning you to the floor in a rumour-inducing kind of way, but it seemed the comedy thing to do after that much absinthe.

Oh, absinthe...

Thou art my drink of choice, my goddess, that got me so pissed I threw up in the toilet at the Students Unzipped house.