Cthulhu Dark Ages: The Abbey of St.. Bartholomew (Week 3 Quotes)

We want fire.
No we don’t.
But if we have fire, we’ll be able to see whatever it is we summon.
Yes.

The hills are alive with the sound of screaming.

If you go down to the woods today.

There’s a vague smell of pig shit.
What from.
The pig shit.

I have Kick 85%. If something comes at me, I kick it in the groin. If it hasn’t got a groin, I’m in trouble.

I don’t think God will rush the day of judgement for us. We’re way too insignificant.

Anybody here speak Latin? Sorry, stupid question.

As it is, he’s a big, dead, hairy, naked man.

My next character is going to be a blind, deaf mute.

You won’t like me when I’m angry.
Why, did you have some kind of gamma ray … ritual?

Aelfstan smash!

He’s not a witch. He weighs more than a duck.
My axe weighs more than a duck.
My what?!
Axe.
Sorry, I thought you said, “My ass.”

Holy cleansing fire, Batman.

Could all monks please turn off their mobile phones?

Leave now and never darken this place of nakedness again.

You feel clean but you’re still weeping pus.
Mm, pussy…

Insects aren’t daemons. They can still enter churches.

While he’s asleep, I’m going to collect spiders and pour them on his belly button.

She’s still naked, still got a nice ass.