A few bits nicked from Acts of Gord:

Truth In Advertising

Japanese writing on signs is just sort of cool. So one day, The Gord had the painted sign in the window changed. Right below where it said "World Renowned Game Store of the Future", there was a collection of Japanese writings.

The translation: "Cute Japanese girlfriend wanted: Apply with management."

Quotation

"We would like a quote for the front page of the newspaper talking about videogame violence, and it's possible impact on society."

"Video games don't make people more violent, and I'll kill anyone who disagrees."

dramatic pause

"I don't think we can print that."